Children aren't coloring books.

I kept watching through the window, wishing to be a child again so I could also colour my life as I wanted to without anyone looking, caring or judging me. Then I walked out and caught my nieces hiding in the backyard spilling paints everywhere, even their faces as you see.

The worst part is that whenever we catch our kids doing something secretly they get scared or feel ashamed, often look apologetic or even start crying. And then there's another rare breed who will very confidently stand in your face to accept and take pride in their actions or start laughing saying "okay, I did it what's the big deal" and walk away.

I realised that day that I don't ever want these kids to fall in the first category. So when they gave me that 'apologetic impression' i felt miserable. I laughed and told them to keep doing it and in fact joined them in the play. But i really wanted them to understand that it's not up to me or anyone to allow them or give them the right to do what they want to do & how they want to colour their lives.

... It reminds me of this quote from Khaled Hosseini's "The Kite Runner" ____
"Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them with your favorite colors."
I always loved this quote. Absolutely loved it. The reason being, that this was said in the same context where Amir's father complaints about his son not being like him. He complains that the way his son was growing up was not the way that he, himself grew up.

Our loved ones often mistake the bond for thinking that they own us and can dictate their terms upon us, because they cannot expect us to be any different from them.

I'm not sure if it happens to everyone, but a lot of families feel the need to have their child grow up or do the things the same way they did. What they don't understand is that every individual is born with a different personality and nature and as time goes on, things change. Everybody faces different challenges, experiences life differently and by which they then build an altogether different perspective and outlook on how they wanna spend their life & the choices they make. Stop telling them, you "didn't do this" or "didn't do that" when you were their age, and they should try to be a carbon copy of you, that's just not possible.

What we should do is respect them for who they are and help them become a better person instead of keep making comparisons between what they are & what they should be. And instead of dragging them in the same pool with you, allow them to swim in the river.